In Search Of...

I am standing here judging myself

Not something I would wish on anybody else

I bring myself down so I can hide

And the farther I go the more I die

Chorus:  

In search of some hope - In search of a gun

In search of some pride - In search of the one

In search of a bottle - In search of some pain

In search of a habit - To keep me more sane

I stare myself down with no control

I take my own life and don’t even know

I try to see who is the shadow inside

Who is the one feeding me the lies

Chorus:   

In search of some patience - In search of a life

In search of a pill - In search of a knife

In search of a pleasure - In search of a hate

In search of an action - To Kill this fate

I reason with myself and try to cry

But I am laughing back in my own eyes

When will it end, the cycle of shame

When will it stop, the torture the pain

Chorus:   

In search of a message - In search of a rage

In search of a needle - In search of a cage

In search of some hurt - In search of a lie

In search of a melody - To allow me to die

I do not see you  -  You do not exist